•••

“What’s with her?” Xander asked, watching Cordelia run from the lobby. “Was it something I said?”

Wil tilted his head toward the door. “Not you. Him.”

Xander turned around to Gunn standing at the hotel’s entrance. Sighing, the young man smiled at the new arrival. “Welcome back, my man. Lucky you, just in time to slay, with no pesky research to do first.”

Gunn grinned at Xander’s garbled speech. “Fine with me. Where’s Angel?”

“Here,” Angel said from the second floor landing. Will appeared next to Angel, smirking down at Gunn. He, unlike Xander, did hold the man responsible for hurting Cordelia, and was just waiting for the chance to show Gunn how he felt.

“Ok then, where’s the demon and how do we kill it?” Gunn asked, anxious to get out of the hotel. He’d seen Cordelia run off, and even though she wasn’t physically near, he wanted to be nowhere near her. Ever.

Wil maneuvered the groupings until he, Wes and Oz were with Angel, leaving Xander to ride in Gunn’s truck. Oz simply quirked an eyebrow at the arrangement. He knew what the vampire was doing; if Wil wanted to be away from Gunn, that was fine. Considering how Xander was reacting to Angel and Wil, it was probably for the best.

Gunn was surprised that Xander kept quiet for an entire five minutes during the drive over to the demon’s nest. “So, Gunn…what’s with you and Cordy?” Xander asked, deciding not to circle the issue.

His approach surprised Gunn. “She hates me,” he said, shock loosening his tongue.

Xander shifted over, leaning back against the door so he could see Gunn. “No, she doesn’t. Believe me; I’ve seen her hate people. She’s hated me. Whatever she’s feeling for you isn’t hate, although whatever you did to her drove her pretty close to it.”

Gunn scowled. Xander was probably right, considering how long he’d known Cordelia, but it was easier to deal with if the emotions were all strong and negative.

“So, you hate her?” Xander asked.

“Of course. She’s a stuck up white girl with a complex,” Gunn replied automatically. After all, it was what he’d been trying to convince himself of for a while now.

“Right. You hate her because she’s white? Cause the Cordelia I met in the Hyperion wasn’t stuck up. And you can’t tell me you don’t have at least one complex, Mister I’ve-got-a-chip-on-my-shoulder-the-size-of-Canada,” Xander shot back.

Gunn swore, swerving the truck around in the lane. “Shut the hell up, Xander. You don’t know what you’re talking about. You have no idea, get it? NONE! It’s not race, ok?”

“Then what is it? What’s so bad about her? I mean, I dated her. You can’t shock me, or surprise me with anything about Cordelia,” Xander replied.

“It’s none of your business,” Gunn said flatly.

“She’s my friend, so it’s my business. Hells, I’m the only one at the hotel who’ll talk to you about it—Oz isn’t the chatty type, and everyone else wants your head on a pike,” Xander said. Before Gunn could interrupt, he continued. “You want to know what I think? I think you like her, but you’re scared. It’s so typical, like a cheesy romance novel plot. Strong, loner type meets strong, ass-kicking I-don’t-need-nobody girl. Lust and misunderstandings ensue. A big fight happens. Then, one of them gives in and they reconcile. The only difference between you two and the grocery store special is that there’s no sex yet. They gotta have those in the books, or nobody would buy them,” Xander concluded smugly.

“You’re out of your mind, you know that?” Gunn said, smiling a little. The boy was totally wrong, but his romance novel thing had been cute. “And how is it you know so much about romance novels?”

Xander grinned. “Joyce, Buffy’s mom, used to read them. Willow got a hold of some and used them to get me to read more, since I always hated the boring stuff they assigned in class. It might have been brain candy, but at least I can read pretty well. But I still think you two are just doing the tried-and-true love-hate-love thing. Just promise me you won’t start spouting off cheesy you-complete-me lines. So gagworthy.”

“I said it once already. You’re fucking nuts.” Gunn stopped the truck next to Angel’s convertible. Xander’s prattling had gotten them to the demon’s lair. “And don’t go spouting off that shit, ok? It’s bad enough I have to hear it from you, but Wes would never let it go.”

Xander nodded silently as they joined the others. Oz sidled up next to him as they struggled through designing a game plan. “How’d it go?”

“He’s so gone on her it’s not funny,” Xander whispered, grinning madly. “You ok?”

Oz nodded, then grabbed Xander’s arm and pulled him toward their designated spot. They were pretty much relegated to being lookouts since Angel didn’t trust them quite enough to deal with fifty or so Fyarl demons. They were hoping that Wil’s command of the demons’ language would prove to be an advantage.

The proceedings inside the building that held the demons’ nest were quiet, so Oz took some time to think. The decision to stay in LA had been a good one; Angel and his crowd were very much in support of the ‘accepting who you are’ thing, much more so than the Sunnydale group. Oz had spent far too much time fighting the wolf, so it was nice to find a place where it didn’t matter. Angel didn’t care if he patrolled the boundaries of the hotel, checking for intrusions on his territory, or if Oz quietly struggled with him to make sure Angel was the pack’s alpha.

Xander, though, concerned Oz. It had been a week now since they’d arrived, and Xander, for all his talk, had not fully settled in. He obviously missed Sunnydale, and Oz couldn’t blame him. Recent bad times aside, they were his friends. Xander was also dealing with Angel and Wil. In all honesty, Oz didn’t see what Xander’s problem was. After all, he didn’t harbor any particular fondness for either one. Why care that they were together? Oz suspected that their arrangement hit a little too close to home for Xander. Oz remembered Xander in high school, and also had a wealth of experience observing people. Most guys who spent as much energy as Xander did in being hetero were often not quite on the straight and narrow. Unfortunately, Xander’s father had done a good job of beating straightness into young Alexander.

Oh well. Oz had dealt with disappointment before. This would be nothing new. He left his musings when a sound from inside the building caught his attention. “They’re coming out.”

Xander whirled around from where he was destroying a coke can with his shoe. “What? Where?” Angel, Wil, Wesley and Gunn emerged from the building, covered from head to toe in dark, sticky demon blood. “Eew. That is so gross,” Xander said.

Angel grimaced. It was gross, but Xander didn’t have to point that out. “It could have been you, Xander.” The vampire dug through is pockets, extracting a set of keys. Pitching them to Oz, he said, “Don’t do anything to her. We’ll meet you back at the hotel.”

Gunn repeated the procedure with Xander. The boy would drive them back, while the goo-covered heroes rode in the back of his truck. He just hoped neither boy got lost, and that Xander drove well enough to keep the cops from pulling them over.

The trip back was quiet. Wil and Angel hovered together hear the tailgate while Gunn and Wesley alternated shouting directions and threats to Xander. “Um, Wil?” Gunn asked. The blonde looked up.

“Yeah?”

Gunn scratched his arm. “Is Fyarl demon blood supposed to make you itch?”

Wil’s eyes widened comically. “Wes, tell Xander to drive faster.” Wesley complied.

“What?” Gunn asked, frowning. He itched all over.

Wil looked worried. “It’s probably an allergic reaction. As much as you’ve got on you, though…”

“We need to get you cleaned off as soon as possible,” Wesley finished.

Somehow, Xander’s increased speed had alerted Oz, and the werewolf picked up the pace, so they made it back to the hotel in record time. By that point, Gunn was scratching himself all over.

Wil picked up the larger man and ran upstairs, ignoring Gunn’s protestations. Angel followed just behind him, with Wesley, Oz and Xander some distance back. Cordelia had returned, bringing Fred back with her, and was standing behind the front desk. “What’s going on?” She asked, but was ignored.

Wil ran straight for his room. The tub there was almost as large as Angel’s, and certainly big enough to accommodate Gunn. “Xander, go back downstairs. Get all the oatmeal and powdered milk in the kitchen.”

“What, we’re having breakfast up here?” He asked. Wesley scowled at him and shooed him towards the kitchen. The watcher soon followed to retrieve some herbs.

Wil and Angel started stripping Gunn. The man resisted, so Oz joined in. Soon he was standing under a cool spray of water, cursing virulently. The other three joined him, since they were also covered in goo and would just recontaminate him otherwise.

So, Xander was greeted with a very…odd sight when he returned laden with food products. A squirming, shouting Gunn was being held under the shower head by three soggy, dirty men who looked absolutely livid.

“Stop moving, you bleeding twit. We’re trying to help you!” Wil said, knocking Gunn on the side of his head. Gunn just yelled and fought harder.

“Um, guys?” Xander said, failing to catch their attentions. He’d had to stop briefly to explain the situation to Cordelia, and had feared he’d be yelled at for being late. That was, apparently, not going to be a problem.

Wesley joined him a moment later, similarly laden. “Excuse me! Gunn, if you don’t cease that, your skin will fall off in most painful manner, and I will laugh at you as you writhe on the floor in agony. Angel, Wil, Oz, do take that somewhere more private. You’re embarrassing Xander.”

Compliance was immediate, due in great part to Wesley’s tone of voice. There was no doubt who ran the hotel. Angel, Wil and Oz stalked off to get cleaned up and burn their soggy, destroyed clothes. Wesley motioned for Xander to help him. “I need to change as well. First though, we need to try to neutralize this stuff. You’ll have to do the work, though, so I don’t hurt him."

Gunn had sunk down to sit in the tub, the water raining down on him. Xander, at Wesley’s direction, had changed the shower back into a bath, so the tub would fill from the faucet. Gun lay back against the porcelain, submerging himself. “Thanks. All that groping hurt.”

Xander was about to make a smart comment when he saw that Gunn’s skin was covered with hand-shaped welts. The others’ attempts to help had simply rubbed the blood in more, enflaming it painfully.

“Start with the milk powder. Add about three cups of it, sprinkled about evenly. Gunn, you will want to move around to mix it.” Wesley peered at his herbs while Xander did his task. After a moment, he nodded when Xander indicated the oatmeal. They had tacitly agreed to remain as quiet as possible, since the three of them in this position was a bit…awkward.

Wesley handed Xander several jars. “Just dump all of the comfrey and coneflowers into the water. Of the hemlock, though, just use a pinch.”

“Hemlock?” Gunn asked warily.

“Just a little. It will deaden the pain,” Wesley responded. “You should stay in the water as long as possible. While you do, I’ll try to prepare a salve. It will be waiting outside the bathroom door.”

While Wesley got cleaned up and worked on the salve, Xander visited with Cordelia.

“So, you still shopping and doing the I-hate-Gunn routine?” Xander asked casually. Cordelia glared at him.

“Yes and Yes. Pradas and boy-bashing go well together.”

Xander shook his head. “I love you, Cordy. Really, I do. But you’re in the wrong here. Yeah, he’s a jerk. Then again, what guy isn’t? But you did start it. I know that much. The least you can do is use some of that maturity you’re so proud of and apologize.”

“He won’t ever do the same, though,” Cordelia replied archly.

“So what? This isn’t the mutual apology club. You apologize because you did wrong. He apologizes when he grows up and realizes he’s done wrong. Nothing to it,” Xander reasoned.

“When did you grow up?” Cordelia asked. Not that she’d take his advice or anything.

Xander laughed. “Who said I did? I was saying these things in high school. Nobody was listening.” He left her then, heading to the kitchen to stop Fred before she created another monster. Last time it had been cauliflower, radish, and tomato grilled-cheese sandwiches. Fortunately they were out of cauliflower. Unfortunately, they were well-stocked with rutabagas.