•••

Angel sat in the car for a long time after he’d killed the engine, staring at the farmhouse with something akin to terror in his eyes. How was he going to explain this to the others? It wasn’t that working at an adult video store was really that offensive to him… well, it was, but not for moral reasons. He found the smell annoying. But the others… how would they react? Could he stand living with the jokes and innuendo for several years, without killing one or more of them? Of course, he didn’t have to keep this job that long; once they’d gotten themselves better settled he could always find another. Yeah, that’s what he’d tell them.

Steeling himself for whatever reactions were about to hit him, Angel got out of the car and approached the house. Everyone except Fred would be there; she was working at the grocery store as a check-out girl. The dark vampire unlocked the front door and stepped inside. Once he’d locked the door again, he simply stood in the entranceway and waited. He was soaked in pheromones and all of his housemates would be able to smell it.

Sure enough, he didn’t stay alone for long. “Geez, Angel, you smell like…” Xander said as he barreled out of the living room. The Raphe got closer, sniffing Angel’s clothes. “Wow, you had fun tonight! But, uh, weren’t you supposed to get a job? And does Wil know about this?”

“Know about what?” Wil asked as he walked down the hall. “Angel, why do you reek of…”

“I got a job,” Angel muttered. Wesley, Gunn and Oz appeared out of the computer room.

“I know we need the money, man, but you don’t have to turn tricks,” Gunn said seriously. “We aren’t that desperate.”

“Angel, what kind of job did you get, that makes you smell like a brothel?” Wil demanded. He wasn’t angry—yet—but he didn’t like smelling dozens of other people on his lover.

“Who’s working in a brothel?” Cordelia asked as she walked down the stairs. “Angel? Uh…had a good night, did you?”

Angel scowled. “Cashier at a video store.”

Oz cocked an eyebrow. “Video store?”

“Video store,” Angel confirmed.

Xander’s eyes widened. “As in ‘painted bright yellow, must have proof of age before entering’ video store?”

“That kind, yes,” Angel muttered.

“And why, pray tell, did you choose to gain employment at an adult video store?” Wesley inquired, trying unsuccessfully to hide a smirk.

“It pays well,” Angel replied. “And Wil told me to get a job that didn’t require talking to people.”

“I thought you mentioned a nursing home,” Wil asked. “And some convenience stores.”

“Convenience store burned down,” Angel said. “And the nursing home smelled worse than this.”

“Uh, I don’t think anything can smell worse than—“ Xander began, but Angel cut him off.

“Death, feces, urine, open bed sores, phlegm,” Angel rattled off.

“Pheromones are good,” Xander admitted. “Even stale ones.”

Cordelia grinned. “Well, I think it’s great!” When everyone looked at her like she was crazy, she continued. “Come on, guys! The only reason this place doesn’t already smell like a cat house is because we haven’t been here very long. And besides, I bet he gets a discount on rentals.”

“You do get a discount, right?” Xander inquired, ignoring Wesley’s glare.

Angel shuffled. “Half off videos, fifteen percent off merchandise, ten percent off shows.”

“Shows?” Wil murmured. “A video store with shows?”

“Merchandise?” Xander echoed. “What kind of merchandise?”

Angel shook his head. “Yes, a video store with peep shows and merchandise. But it pays well. And,” He added as an afterthought, “I’m not allowed to turn tricks at work.”

Wil growled. “You’d better not.”

An evil grin played around the edges of Angel’s mouth. “Nope, I can’t charge a dime.” He headed for the kitchen to heat up some blood. After that, he was going straight to the laundry room.

“But you can still fuck for free, right?” Xander called out as Angel disappeared.

“Of course,” Angel replied from the kitchen.

Wil’s eyes flashed and he growled at Xander. Then he stopped and grinned. “You know, this job is…”

“Rife with opportunities to humiliate Angel?” Wesley finished for the vampire.

“Among other things,” Wil conceded. “It should definitely make for interesting conversation.”

“I can see it now,” Cordelia said, taking a seat on the stairs. “’And what does your group do?’ ‘Oh, four of us spend all our time attempting to bring down a major player on the ‘bad’ side of the good vs. evil fight, one of us is a check-out girl at a grocery store, one of us is a librarian, one of us sells jeans at the Gap, and our fearless leader sells porn and sex toys!’”

“Adult entertainment,” Xander corrected. “And sexual pleasure enhancers.”

“Don’t forget the therapeutic technique demonstrations,” Oz added.

“Ah,” Wesley murmured. “I forget how very important language is in these issues.”

“Yup,” Xander replied with a smile. “It’s not a sin, it’s an important service to society.”

“Shut up,” Angel called from the laundry room. “Please. I’m going to be hearing about this for the rest of eternity, so could you give it a rest for tonight?”

“Aww, you’re no fun!” Xander shouted back. “I mean… Angel, you’re working in a sex shop!”

Angel reappeared in the hallway, clothed only in a towel… a very small towel. “And what’s so wrong with that?” Angel asked the Raphe. “Or don’t you like pornography and sex toys?”

Xander blushed and bit his lip. “Er, no, I like both just fine. But, ah… you’re a warrior for the good guys!”

The dark vampire frowned at Xander. “So? They never said anything about sex being a bad thing.”

Wil grinned. He had to hand it to Angel, the vampire was doing very well considering the situation. How many men could walk around their house in nothing but a towel, defending their new job at a sex shop? “He’s got a point, Xander. It’s just a job, and not a bad one at that.”

“Huh?” Xander grunted.

“He’s making money and not breaking any laws,” Wil replied. “And he gets discounts on things you might actually want. Fred will already be providing us with food and whatnot. Or would you rather he get you another discount at some chain store?”

Angel laughed and turned to walk down the hall. “I’m taking a shower. You guys can fight it out.”

•••

Wil left the others standing around in the entranceway, joking about Angel’s new job. The blonde vampire returned to his and Angel’s bedroom, which was in the attic. He figured that Angel would want to talk once he got done scrubbing himself raw. As he’d predicted, the dark vampire showed up a few minutes later, not the least bit surprised to find Wil waiting for him.

“Do you have a problem with it?” Angel asked as he pulled out some clean clothes.

Wil shook his head. “No. Actually, it’s a very good choice. Even if Wolfram & Hart have begun to suspect that we survived and are working against them, they would never look for you- or any of us- in that type of job.”

“So you’re not going to mind me coming home every morning smelling like dozens of strangers?” Angel inquired. He sat on the bed next to Wil, placing his clothes nex to him.

“Mind? Perhaps, but that is easily overcome,” Wil murmured.

“How so?” Angel asked curiously. He could put up with the others’ joking as long as Wil was happy.

“I’ll just fuck you through the mattress every day,” The blonde replied evenly, staring at Angel’s still-naked body. “So you don’t forget.”

“Forget?” Angel echoed. “As if I could- “

Angel was cut off by Wil, who grabbed him and pushed him flat onto the bed. The blonde covered his Sire, kissing him roughly as his slender hands began to stroke and pull, eliciting a shriek of surprised from Angel. “I don’t care where you work,” Wil hissed into Angel’s ear. One hand wrapped around Angel’s cock, squeezing firmly. “Or how many people look at you, or how often they fuck around you, or how many sex shows you watch.” The hand began to move and Angel thrust up to meet every motion. Wil leaned down to run his tongue over Angel’s neck. “Just so long as you remember to come home, and who you’re coming home to.”

“Can’t forget,” Angel gasped as he twisted under Wil.

Wil’s hand tightened again. “Damned right you won’t,” He snarled. “You’ll think of this every night, while your customers jack off in their little rooms and rent sticky videos and try to figure out how to use the liquid latex,” He continued, letting his free hand drift lower. Wil shifted to straddle Angel, lining up their cocks. He released Angel’s erection and began to thrust, rubbing their bodies together. “And you can tell them how to paint their lovers with it, and remind them to use some spray cleaner on the videocassettes,” Wil said harshly. “And all those pheromones will make you hard, as hard as you are now, and you’ll have to look at all those pictures, and you’ll get harder,” He muttered brokenly. Angel panted and thrust, relishing the feel of Wil’s cock sliding against his own. “But you’ll have to wait for release, until you come home. Then I’ll strip you down and replace the foul odor of their desire with ours, hm?” The blonde suggested, moving faster and faster.

“Y-yes,” Angel keened, his hands reaching up to press Wil down as he came, hard, against the blonde. Wil thrust a few more times before joining him in ecstasy.

“And you’ll be doing a lot of laundry,” Wil commented when they’d both recovered a bit.

“Huh?” Angel grunted. Wil held up Angel’s clean clothes, which were now spotted with semen from their activities. “Shit.”

One of Wil’s eyebrows rose. “Not exactly, love. But I still wouldn’t wear it downstairs.”

•••

“I guess Wil really isn’t upset about Angel’s new job,” Xander commented when he heard Angel scream.

“Why would he?” Oz asked his lover.

“Er, because Angel’s working in a store full of pornography and horny people?” Xander replied.

“Ah,” Oz murmured. “So you wouldn’t like it if I got a job there?”

Xander stared at Oz. “No!”

“You wouldn’t want me coming home every day horny and desperate, ready to throw your down on the floor and fuck you senseless?” Oz inquired, not looking up from the computer screen.

Xander frowned. He hadn’t thought of it that way. “Would it really make you…”

“Imagine spending eight hours in a little room full of pheromones, Xander,” Oz said. “And lots and lots of classic jerk-off props.”

“Oh,” Xander mumbled. “So Wil’s not upset because he’s gonna be getting a lot for the next little while?”

Oz shrugged. “I wouldn’t be mad if you got a job there.”

Xander threw a wadded up napkin at the werewolf. “I think we fuck often enough, thank you.”

“I guess,” Oz replied.

“You guess? Twice a day, three or four times a day on the weekends? You can barely stand on Monday!” Xander exclaimed.

“True,” Oz murmured. “Did you get that bank account information?”

Xander was momentarily thrown by the abrupt change in topic. “Yeah, here,” He said, handing Oz a disc. “The other will have to wait; their computers are offline until Thursday.

“Thanks,” Oz replied, taking the disc.

“You really wouldn’t mind?” Xander asked again, disbelief evident in his voice.

•••

Xander was just about to fix himself another big bowl of Kix when someone knocked on the door. He shrugged and got up, knowing that everyone else in the house was either asleep (Wil, Angel, and Fred), working in the computer room (Oz and Gunn), or at work (Wesley and Cordelia). He shuffled to the front door, uncaring of his bedraggled state. Hey, you get what you get at ten in the morning.

“Hi,” Xander mumbled as he looked through the screen door. There was a tallish, moon-faced guy in an ill-fitting gray suit standing on the porch.

“Good morning, friend,” The man said cheerfully. “Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Most Reverend Albert McFaddon, of the First United Second Coming Newly Reformed Primitive Baptist Church of the Holy Savior and the Son of God. I just wanted to stop by and welcome you to our community. Have you found God?”

“Cupboard over the stove,” Xander said automatically. The older man frowned for a moment, then shook it off, apparently not getting the humor.

“My wife has brought with her a housewarming gift—her famous vinegar pie!” Xander saw no one besides the preacher, until a somewhat shorter, scrawny woman stepped over into view.

“Oh. Um…” Xander murmured, unsure about what to do. At the moment, he had a screen door protecting him, but the guy looked like the type to just open doors and step right in. Fortunately, Oz came to his rescue.

The werewolf sidled up to Xander, draping an arm around the Raphe’s waist. “Hi, Xan. Who’s the company?”

The preacher’s eyes goggled at the easy familiarity between the two men. “Ah, I am Most Reverend Albert McFaddon, of the—“

“Baptist church down the street,” Xander finished for him. “Came to say hi and give us a vinegar pie.”

“And to invite you to join our congregation!” Reverend McFaddon added. “Thou shall not forsake the assembly!”

By this time Gunn had wandered out, hearing the commotion. “What’s going on?” He asked as he walked up to the door, leaning against the frame.

“Preacher. Pie,” Oz summarized quickly.

“Oh,” Gunn mumbled. “What kind?”

“Baptist. Vinegar,” Oz supplied.

“Have you found the glory of God?” The preacher asked, his face turning red. He was getting a strong suspicion that the newest residents of their fair hamlet were not the most… desirable of neighbors. First these two men with their unseemly familiarity, and now a colored boy!

Xander frowned. Glory and god in the same sentence didn’t set well with him. “Depends on which god you’re talking about. I’ve seen Glory, and I’m really not into that anymore.”

“I think he means the ‘Sweet Baby Jesus’ god,” Oz advised his lover.

“I’m good with that god,” Gunn told the preacher.

“There’s a god at the door?” Wil asked sleepily from the stairs. The others had woken up Wil, Angel and Fred, and the three friends were ambling down the stairs, half dressed and groggy. Wil tripped over a shoe Xander had left on a stair and Angel caught him, cradling the blonde against his chest. Wil smiled and kissed the dark vampire before sinking down to sit in the shaded safety of the stairwell. Angel joined him, as did Fred, squeezing in between the two vampires and the railing.

“Gods aren’t bad,” Fred commented. “At least, good gods. Bad gods aren’t good, though.”

“You said it,” Xander muttered. He noticed that the preacher looked like a firecracker just about to explode, and his wife’s mouth was hanging open. The pie was about two seconds from slipping out of her hands and onto the porch. “So, can we help you with something?”

Albert McFaddon knew, without being told, that he was staring into the mouth of Sodom and Gomorrah. He had to be. What else explained this… mixture of heathens and sodomites and colored folks, and there was only one woman in the entire house, and she looked to be consorting with two half-naked men who were crawling over each other like a man unto a woman, and that colored man was still looking at him with unseemly pride and arrogance, and then there were the two other men who were…kissing? Not one foot from his face? He began to sputter. “The forgiveness of our Lord God is infinite, but you must ask- no, beg- for it! Repent these evil ways! Come into the shelter of the Lord! Be saved before you are damned to Hell!”

“Been there, done that,” Angel muttered snidely. Wil winced at the ringing sound of a pie tin hitting the front porch. A faint, sour odor drifted through the screen door.

“What is that stench?” Wil asked, wrinkling his nose.

“Baptists. Vinegar pie,” Oz replied.

“I’ll see you in Hell, children of Satan!” The preacher screamed as he caught hold of his wife and dragged her off the porch. They left in a cloud of dust, old station wagon careening this way and that.

“You know, it might not have been the best idea to piss off the local preacher,” Xander murmured, mostly to himself. “I’m envisioning pitchforks, burning crosses, rocks through the windows…”

“Baseball bats to the kneecaps, Molotov cocktails, slashed tires, poisoned wells, sugar in the gas tank,” Oz continued.

“Gang banging, lynch mobs, Klan meetings, articles in the paper, eviction notices, jail time,” Gunn added.

“We’re not breaking any ordinances,” Fred retorted. “I checked. And they’re not going to be rezoning any time soon. There was this case a couple of years ago. The brothel laws don’t extend this far.”

“Well, that knocks exactly one thing off our list,” Xander replied.

“Could one of you clean up the pie?” Wil asked in his best polite voice. “It is rather…”

“It stinks worse than a day old road kill skunk,” Gunn commented. “Xander will do it.”

“I will?” Xander asked.

“You haven’t taken a shower yet,” Gunn rationalized.

“Ah. I’ll get right on it then.”