•••

Angel stared at the contents of Oz’s hands with a dual sense of horror and resignation. He should’ve known that someday this would happen; that his luck being what it was, he’d end up having to submit to endless torture—again. That didn’t mean he couldn’t try to weasel out of it.

“No,” The brunette vampire exclaimed.

Xander grinned, always loving a challenge. “But the red looked so good! And it’s been years, Angel.”

“I kept the earrings,” Angel mumbled.

“And they’re very attractive,” Xander confirmed. Angel shrugged. He’d only left them in because Wil seemed to like the way he looked with the plain steel hoops in his ears. The hair, though, had been another matter. Regardless of Wil’s statements and Cordelia’s wheedling, he’d colored it a shade approximating his natural one as soon as the former cheerleader’s time requirement of five days had passed.

“This isn’t so bright,” Oz offered, shaking the bottles he held.

“Bright?” Angel exclaimed. “They glow!”

“We’re gonna mix them,” The shorter man explained.

“No,” Angel insisted. “I’ve already got enough problems at work; I don’t need this too.”

Xander rolled his eyes. “Angel, you could be four feet tall and weigh nine hundred pounds and they’d pinch your ass and proposition you. Since when did you get so staid?”

Angel just cocked an eyebrow. The two other men thought it was sarcasm; in reality the vampire was wondering who Xander had been talking to to have picked up the word ‘staid’ and added it to his vocabulary. “If I was going to attempt to deflect accusations of being staid, I would find a way other than coloring my hair.”

Xander frowned. Maybe he was going to have to play dirty… “You owe me.”

“I do?” Angel asked, confused. Since when did he owe the Raphe anything?

“Indianapolis. Computer room window. Ring any bells?” Xander asked. Angel cringed. Oh, yeah. That. Angel had gotten frustrated while trying to exhume old bank records and had punched through a window in the computer room. Xander had covered for him, since the vampire didn’t want to listen to six lectures on impulse control, anger management, and the cost of replacing windows. The Raphe had simply said that he’d fallen against the glass and it shattered.

Angel eyed the bottles and nodded reluctantly. “But this is it—no more extortion for the window, ok?”

“Fine,” Xander murmured. “Come on up to our room—I want to surprise the others with this.” Angel and Oz trailed after Xander, careful not to attract too much attention to themselves. Wesley and Cordelia were at work, Wil was asleep, but Gunn and Fred were in the work room.

Angel ignored Xander’s efforts to make idle conversation while Oz prepared the multitudes of noxious chemicals he needed to perform whatever tricks he was going to do. The werewolf’s hair also needed attention, which provided the necessary cover story for the foul odors that would permeate the house. Even though he was resigned to being manhandled and vandalized, Angel cringed as Xander threw an old sheet around him and called for Oz to begin.

Oz first applied a liberal coating of stripper to Angel’s entire head. “I thought you were just doing the tips,” Angel asked worriedly. The last time this had happened, there wasn’t that much liquid on his scalp…

“Wanna do a good job,” Oz murmured. “Be quiet.”

Angel obeyed, simply enduring his unasked for makeover. Once Oz was done with the vampire, he applied the stuff to himself, touching up the roots that had grown out. When Xander signaled, Angel went into the bathroom to wash the gunk out. After Oz had done the same, the werewolf began mixing colors for Angel’s hair.

“What’s that?” Angel asked, peering into the bowl.

“Color,” Oz muttered.

“What color?”

“Red. Purple. Blue. Stop staring,” Oz replied. Angel sat down and waited nervously.

Xander helped Oz apply the color, swapping out bowls and brushes. The Raphe then mixed something for Oz’s hair and applied it. Angel could see that the werewolf was going to be a very bright cerulean when this was all over. The bluish color nicely blended with the soft green Oz had been before.

“How much longer will this be?” Angel asked eventually. “I’ve got to drive Fred and myself to work soon.”

Xander glanced at the clock. “Give it fifteen minutes. I know it’s pushing it, but you can leave straight away after you wash up, hmm?”

Angel nodded eagerly. He didn’t want to stick around; Cordelia and Wesley had returned several minutes before and were bustling around downstairs, making dinner. When Oz indicated, Angel went back to the bathroom and showered out the hair color. He might’ve been unable to actually see his hair, but the color of the water told him it was indeed dark and reddish… and bluish… He tried not to panic.

By the time he was finished, Fred was calling for him. Angel ran down the stairs and grabbed his jacket off the couch, not stopping until he was on the porch.

“Angel, are you ok?” Fred asked as she followed him. “I know we’re running late, but not that late!”

Angel just shook his head, grateful that no one had thought to replace the porch light. “I’m fine.”

“Why do you smell like hair dye?” Fred inquired as they got into the car.

“Oz dyed his hair,” Angel murmured.

“And yours,” Fred pointed out. “It looks… different.”

Angel swore silently. Damned werewolves and their night vision. “How does it look?”

Fred cocked her head to one side, then reached over and opened her car door. The interior light came on and she studied him again. “Kind of dark at the bottom.., blue-black, with these really dark red spikes here and there. Very interesting.”

“I’m going to string them up,” Angel promised as the started the car.

“Why did you let them?” She asked. “I mean, if you didn’t want your hair colored…”

“Extortion,” He snapped. “And no, I’m not going to explain.”

•••

“Where’s Angel and Fred?” Cordelia asked. She and Gunn were rummaging through the refrigerator while Wesley fetched dry goods from the pantry for dinner. She and Wesley had been a few minutes late getting in, but she’d seen the other car in the driveway. However, there had been no sign of the other workers.

“They ran off just a minute ago,” Wesley said as he returned from the pantry. “Fred said they were running late, and I heard the car start. I suppose Angel got caught up in something.”

“Hair coloring,” Gunn murmured. “Oz did his hair today.”

“And Angel helped?” Cordelia said disbelievingly. “He hates hair dye.”

“Better than research,” Gunn replied. “Oz and Xander should be down soon.”

“Because of the food,” Wesley added.

“They’re still gonna work,” Cordelia warned.

“Yes, we are,” Xander said from the doorway. “Just not until after we eat.”

Cordelia tossed Xander a knife and a bag of potatoes. “Work for it, then, mister.” He grinned and set up shop at the kitchen table, peeling potatoes. Oz washed and chopped them. When Wil wandered in a few minutes later, he found the entire group busy chopping, slicing and mashing.

“What, precisely, are you making?” He asked as he retrieved some blood from the fridge.

“Stew,” Cordelia replied. “A lot of stew.”

“Angel left?” The blonde vampire asked. “Nice hair, Oz.”

Oz smirked and nodded. “Yeah, a while back. He and Fred were running late,” Cordelia replied. “Didn’t he stop to say good-bye?”

“No,” Wil murmured. “Doesn’t matter, though. I’m gonna go bother him at work tonight.”

“He is getting pretty comfortable there,” Xander commented. “None of us have been there, right?”

“Nope,” Gunn said. “We’re waiting for Wil to break him in.”

Wil grinned. “Wait’s over.”

•••

“Are you sure you want that lube?” Angel asked as he punched in the prices on his latest customer’s purchases.

The young woman smiled tremulously. “It sounds like what I… need,” She offered.

“Oh, ok. But you *do* know that you can’t use it with this dildo, right?” He asked, gesturing at her with a massive, orange silicone penis.

“I can’t?” She whispered. “Uh… why not?”

“You shouldn’t apply silicone lubes to toys made of silicone. They’ll melt,” Angel explained patiently. “And get droopy.”

The woman blushed an impressively dark color. “Ah. So I need…”

“Water based lubes work nicely. Did you look at them?” He pointed down one aisle. She nodded and walked over to the shelf. After a minute, the woman returned with another bottle. Angel swapped out the lubes and took the proffered cash. People seemed to prefer paper money to credit cards at Vince’s. Funny that.

Despite the momentary humor of embarrassing a new customer with her own ignorance, Angel found himself bored again before she even got out of the store. He barely registered the sound of the woman running into another person as she went through the doors, mumbling an apology. He turned back to watch over the aisles, as usual not making eye contact with the new customer. He didn’t look at them until they came to check out—doing otherwise made the customers nervous.

Since Angel was trying so hard to avoid watching the people he was supposed to be watching, his newest—and only—customer managed to sneak up on him. “Excuse me,” A silky voice called out. “But could you give me some advice? I’m looking for a birthday present for my lover, and I’m not sure whether to get the ‘big boy’ or the ‘real man’.”

Angel’s head whipped around. “Wil?” He found the blonde vampire standing in the dildo and vibrator aisle with a large red vibrator in one hand and a long pink rubber dildo in the other. He was across the store and right in Wil’s face before he realized he’d moved. “What the hell are you doing here?” He hissed.

Wil smirked. “Nice hair. Let me guess… Xander has something on you?” The blonde tapped Angel gently on the shoulder with the vibrator when he wasn’t immediately answered.

The now midnight-and-blood haired vampire distractedly grabbed the vibrator and tossed it back on a shelf. “Yes, not that it matters. Why. Are. You. Here?”

“I’m shopping, Angel,” Wil replied lightly.

“Riley!” Vince called from the hallway leading to the peepshows. “You got a problem with this one?”

Angel glanced at his boss. “No.”

Wil looked up. “Oh, *Riley* is just giving me some wonderful advice on which of these lovely cocks to purchase!” Vince laughed and waved his hand towards Angel before disappearing back to his office. “Riley? I know I told you not to use your real name, but…” He frowned. “So that’s why you never told us what you went by at work!”

Angel shifted uncomfortably. “What? I thought it was funny.”

“It is,” Wil replied, grinning. “But unexpected. Now…” He took a step forward, pushing Angel back towards the counter. “Should I get the ‘real man’, or do you have a better suggestion?” To emphasize his question, Wil proffered the dildo he still carried.

Angel was about to order Wil to leave, to let him work his somewhat humiliating job in peace, when an evil thought occurred to him. “Actually…” He backed up to the counter, walking around it. “I think I’ve got something much more appropriate for your purposes.”

“Really?” Wil said, playing along. He set down the rubber dildo and leaned against the counter. “And what might that be?”

Angel used his keys to unlock the glass display case upon which Wil was leaning. “Well… it really depends on what you’re looking for. Does your lover prefer something a bit… challenging, or would she rather have a classic piece?”

“*He*,” Wil began, smirking. “Likes a bit of both. A bit of a… stretch isn’t a bad thing, but he’s no size queen.”

Angel blushed slightly; even though they were playing he wasn’t immune to the effects of hearing Wil discuss details of their sexual predilections. Continuing in their charade, he reached inside the display case, fingers scraping over the dusty velvet display. After a moment of fumbling around, he located what he’d been looking for. “If you’re looking for a collection piece, and I’m thinking you are, you might want to consider these.”

The dark vampire set several toys on the counter, resting them on a velvet mat he’d retrieved. Wil’s eyes widened at what he saw. “Marble? And… is that jadeite, or nephrite?” The blonde ran one reverent finger down the incised dildo. “Sterling? That would take a lot of…” Wil’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Then again, I’d say that depends on how well you use it, hmm?”

Angel grinned. “It’s solid—and weighs a ton. Some like the cold, though.”

Wil shrugged. “Perhaps. What else do you have?”

The older vampire reached into the cabinet again. This time he brought out a tray of rings, of various sizes. “We have stainless, gold—14 carat, silver, brass and marble.”

Wil studied the cock rings with greater interest. “Hmm... “ He picked up an engraved stainless steel ring. It had an incised design of knots all over the surface. The blonde ran his fingers around and around the thing, studiously not watching Angel’s eyes following the movements.

Angel traced Wil’s hands with his eyes, wondering how his lover could make such a prosaic act so damned erotic. It was like the blonde was fucking the toy. Angel idly wished those hands were on him. If it weren’t for work…

Wil tightened his hold on the ring and walked around the counter, managing somehow to startle Angel. “Wil…” Angel began, only to be silenced by the blonde’s mouth. Wil kissed him softly, still pressing back until Angel was flush against the wall. The dark vampire opened his mouth under Wil’s tender assault, heedless of the soft moan that caught in his throat. By the time Wil pulled away, Angel was growling, eyes shifting into yellow.

Angel tried desperately to regain some semblance of control. After all, he was at work—even if it was at a sex shop. Wil would have none of that, however. The blonde dove back in, nipping around Angel’s jugular. The tiny, stinging bites made Angel gasp—not necessarily the best thing he could’ve done. His senses were inundated with the ever-present cloud of pheromones that was the atmosphere of his workplace. Normally he didn’t breath, except to talk to customers. It kept his mind clear. Now, though, those chemicals made it even harder to concentrate. Wil was enough of a distraction to kill him, and with the added effect of hundreds of humans’ hormones… well, Angel quickly forgot where he was.

Wil grinned into Angel’s neck and continued his sweet torture. He knew exactly what had happened to Angel; after all his mouth was right there on the older vampire’s throat, and he himself had suffered the effects of a heavy dose of pheromones. He ran one hand down Angel’s chest, flicking his fingers in between the buttons of the other man’s shirt. Those teasing glances of sharp hails just aroused Angel more, until he lost all concept of anything that wasn’t Wil and what the blonde was doing to him.

“Wil…” Angel moaned, reaching for the younger vampire. He wanted to throw his lover down on the floor and… well, do anything to alleviate seething desire rushing through his body. Wil’s hand slipped further down, unzipping Angel’s trousers and freeing his cock. Angel hissed and thrust into Wil’s hand.

“Ah-ah,” Wil chided, grasping Angel with cruel force. He waited until Angel stilled, then began stripping the dark vampire’s cock with almost brutal force. Angel just mewled and fell back against the wall, letting Wil have his way. After a minute or two, Wil fell to his knees and swallowed Angel whole. Angel bit his lip to hold back a scream as he felt the tips of Wil’s fangs prick the base of his cock. He came, hard, eyes squeezed tightly closed as fought to keep from slipping into gameface. He might have been very nearly oblivious, but he did know better than to shift at work.

Angel slumped against the wall, shaking with aftershocks, when Wil stood. The blonde pressed him back, reclaiming his mouth for one last kiss. While they embraced, the blonde reached between them and slipped the cock ring onto Angel’s flaccid member. Then he began to work that tired flesh again, easily restraining the still-shocky Angel. Within a couple of minutes, Angel was hard again, and the ring ensured that he’d stay that way. Wil released him before he reached the point of pain, tucking him back into his clothes.

“I like the jadeite one,” Wil said as he stepped around the counter. The blonde glanced over at Vince, who was standing in the shadows of the hallway. “Bring it home tonight, hmm?”

Angel just stared as Wil tapped the carved dildo and then waltzed out of the store. A rough chuckle drifted past and he spun around, brain suddenly kicking in when he saw his boss. “Vince—“

“So that’s why you’re not going for all the tail you get offered,” Vince said lightly. “He’s a firecracker, that’s for sure.” The balding man stepped forward and leaned on the counter, surveying the merchandise out on the surface.

“Ah…” Angel began, not exactly sure how to handle this situation… other than to dismember Wil when he got home. After he got the cock ring off... the fun way.

Vince grinned. “Don’t worry about it, Riley. I can tell the difference between a john and a lover, and I only told you to keep the johns out of the store.” He pushed back off the counter and started towards his office. “And that nickname, Angel, is cute. You get 25% off the ring and dil, employee discount.”

Angel just nodded as Vince disappeared into the recesses of the shop. That had gone amazingly well, although Wil was still going to get reamed for what he’d done. Of course, that didn’t have to be a bad thing…