Why don't you ask him if he's going to stay?

*She is my future. The one, the one who will keep me sane when it gets to be more than I can stand. A rock, a perfect, precious gem. She never tries to hurt me, never takes out her anger in blood and fists. Never uses deception and cunning to make me want her.*

*I remember when you were like that.*

Why don't you ask him if he's going away?

*I thought that maybe you leaving, fleeing Sunnydale, would take it away. Take away this heavy, leaden feeling at the base of my heart. You'd be gone for good. Out of reach, out of sight, out of mind. Gone off to get yourself quietly dusted. Why can't it be that easy?*

Why don't you tell me what's going on?

*Instead, I see you in my dreams. The way you used to be, young and eager and bloody... Wanting me because you could, because of how I made you feel. You didn't care then about power or glory. For all I know, you still don't. We aren't on speaking terms, remember? But I'm supposed to be seeing Cordelia, moaning Cordelia's name when my body does things a corpse shouldn't be able to do.*

Why don't you tell me who's on the phone?

*I should be disgusted by you, by what you've done and who you are. I should want to kill you, hunt you down, feast on your misery. But I don't, and that hurts even worse than knowing what you did.*

Why don't you ask him what's going on?

*Every time I try to think about her, I go back to you. You have a soul now. What does that mean? Are you like me? Can we... I know we are the past. But still, this gives me an unrealistic hope, a hope I don't want to feel. What we had is gone, dead by our own hands. This soul of yours should not be able to resurrect it.*

Why don't you ask him who's the latest on his throne?

*I don't care what you do out there, Spike. Kill, be killed. No, don't be killed. Just, stay away. Please. Maybe one day soon I'll be able to tell Cordelia about how her magickal friend anchored my soul, that I can take her to bed without losing myself.*

Don't say that you love me!

*Someday I'll be able to want to lose that last bit of innocence, of chastity, with her and not you. I'll want to give her that moment of complete happiness and not you. I'll want to bed her and not you. Love her and not you.*

Just tell me that you want me!

*I love Cordelia.*

*But I love you more, Spike, and it's killing me.*