Track 3 |
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Rene
and Georgette Magritte *Ah, Spike, I can still feel you. The way you used to trace my lips with your fingers, daring me to bite them. I always would, and then you'd pout. I, of course, would have to kiss away that moue. And you were never content with one kiss, and soon we were a tangle of skin and cries to heaven. When it was over, you'd lick your fingers and grin. And so would I.* *I never minded those games.* Rene and Georgette Magritte, *Then there were the times you'd help me with Dru, holding the knives while I ripped her open. You never really understood the attraction; oh, pain you knew well and cherished, but the mindless agony she preferred? I honestly think it disgusted you. It didn't bother me, but then I was a monster. Looking back, I often wonder if you lost all of your soul when I turned you. Every so often I saw a glimmer, some unearthly light in your eyes as you hesitated, paused before killing. It was like you knew, *knew* it was wrong in the way that humans know killing is wrong. I hope I'm not right, though, and that you never suffered, even for an instant. All the gods know how much you're suffering now.* Side by side, *We were inseparable, you and I. That is, until the curse. What we had was strong, but not that strong. I could not stand the blood on your hands and you could not abide my pathetic existence. But I never stopped loving you. In Sunnydale, the hardest thing I ever did was to deny you. I was your Yoda. Yes, I've seen that movie. But it was best for both of us. You would have never stayed with me and my soul, and I would have sought to change you so that I could stand to be near you.* Oh Rene and Georgette Magritte, *I wish I could stay angry with you, Spike. I know I'm supposed to. Just like I'm supposed to stay in love with Cordelia. Or Buffy, for that matter. But I can't hold you in contempt. Each time I try to push you into the corner of my mind that houses Darla and the Master and Penn, I see those innocent blue eyes, asking me what you've done wrong. Wondering how to make it right.* *And I get lost all over again.* |
| Remy and Georgette Magritte With Their Dog After the War, Paul Simon |
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