Oh the sisters of mercy,
they are not departed or gone.
They were waiting for me
when I thought that I just can't go on.
And they brought me their comfort
and later they brought me this song.
Oh I hope you run into them,
you who've been travelling so long.

*I fucked her, you know. That blonde girl you loved so much. Then again, I fucked just about everything you ever did. Dru, even Darla once, though that was her idea. They were empty and so was I. We couldn't fill each other, though we tried. Funny how a human can want a vampire to make her feel alive. I couldn't do that, couldn't bring it back to her. We were just pounding out our grief. She wanted back into heaven. I guess she wanted to get there by digging down so deep she came out the other side. Me, I wanted the rush, the black emptiness, where it's not you or me but just nothing. Buried inside her, so hot and wet and blood pounding, she wasn't you. And that was a good thing. At the time.*

Yes you who must leave everything
that you cannot control.
It begins with your family,
but soon it comes around to your soul.
Well I've been where you're hanging,
I think I can see how you're pinned:
When you're not feeling holy,
your loneliness says that you've sinned.

*And I tried to rape her too. Actually, I wonder if she ever told you, or if any of her friends did. I just wanted someone to love me, to give one single damn if I fell to dust. I'm not proud of it; hells if I didn't think it was just a cop-out I'd stake myself. I've never, *never* had to force myself on anyone. Ever. It wasn't about the fucking. You told me once I needed to grow up. I did, about five minutes after I found myself on her, tearing at her clothes. The man let the demon take over. The demon still doesn't know what was wrong with forcing her. But don't worry; the soul and the man are working him over. My love for you chimes in occasionally, just for a tangy ribbon of loathing.*

Well they lay down beside me,
I made my confession to them.
They touched both my eyes
and I touched the dew on their hem.
If your life is a leaf
that the seasons tear off and condemn
they will bind you with love
that is graceful and green as a stem.

*So now you know, or you would if you were here to hear me. I'm sorry, by the way. She didn't deserve it, to be treated that way. Used, hurt and wanted(not wanted). But for one shining moment, she, the Slayer, knew how I felt, have felt ever since that first night in London, when you took me every way you could.*

When I left they were sleeping,
I hope you run into them soon.
Don't turn on the lights,
you can read their address by the moon.
And you won't make me jealous
if I hear that they sweetened your night:
We weren't lovers like that
and besides it would still be all right.

*There's an old man across the street. He's staring at me, probably wondering what a disgusting bum like me is doing parked across from the town square, car running and the radio on. I'm not changing the station just to appease him, though. My hell, my great end, at least let me pick the soundtrack.*

*Well, there's one down. I've only got a few thousand more sins to confess, Sire(Father). Will you give me absolution when I'm done?*