Xander frowned into the polished metal mirror, turning his head this way and that, trying to find an acceptable-looking angle. Unfortunately for his ego, he couldn’t find one. No matter how he looked at himself, he resembled a mangy, hairy mess. This was most definitely not good. If he was going to look like this for the rest of his life, he was forswearing mirrors.

His dismay with his changing physical appearance put a damper on his very recent good mood. After more than a week of pain, discomfort and excessive sleepiness, Xander had woken up that morning feeling much better, with more energy than he’d had since he’d arrived in this strange world. The first thing he’d asked for was a bath. Saelen and Pairdra must have agreed that he really needed one, since they immediately carried him to a bath house. He’d protested that he could walk, but they’d insisted.

The first thing that he’d noticed when he started to bathe was increased hair, all over. He dimly recalled that Main’zen had said, during one of her visits, how he’d be growing in a pelt. It hadn’t registered at the time that he’d actually be covered in hair.

The stuff wasn’t that bad, he guessed. It was softer than human hair, more like a cat’s fur than anything else. At least it was the color of his human hair, a nice dark brown. The reality of the change hadn’t really set in until he’d gotten a good look at himself in the mirror.

His whole face was growing hair--not just a beard or mustache. His eyebrows were slowly blending in to the rest of his face, and he joked to himself that he was the first man in history to complain about having an advancing hairline. It wasn’t until then that he really paid attention to the other changes in his body.

His hands were different. He still had an opposable thumb--apparently he wasn’t so close to monkey that he lost that. But his fingers were longer, and obviously more dexterous. His toes, too, were now prehensile, and his ankles and feet were more flexible. The real shocker, though, was the bump on his lower back where his new tail was growing in.

That freaked him out. He didn’t want a tail, particularly one almost as long as his entire body, head to toe. It didn’t matter that siv seemed to find them useful, swinging around and carrying things. He liked being human, damn it. He’d lived in Sunnydale for more than twenty years, avoiding being turned into a vampire, a werewolf, a zombie, and a host of other nasties. And now, because of one little tiff with Anya, he was monkey boy. Prescient words he himself had spoken came back to him. He should have never made that crack about not being a buttmonkey. The gods hated him. No, they didn’t just hate him; they found him amusing, too.

"Are you ok, Xander?" Saelen called from outside. He’d kicked them out so he could bathe in private, and they’d been sitting in the hall for a long time while he got depressed over his new and improved appearance.

"Yeah, just dandy," Xander replied glumly. He quickly pulled on the clothes they’d brought for him to wear and joined them in the hall, feeling weird. He still thought of their clothes as very lightweight pyjamas.

"Better?" Pairdra asked as they exited.

"Sure, fantastic. I look like I’ve got some disease," Xander muttered.

Saelen sighed. Xander hadn’t taken being changed well. He could see why, at least partly. He liked being what he was, and wouldn’t want to change. Still, it wasn’t the end of the world for Xander. He’d have to learn to adapt, whether he liked it or not.

"How do you feel?" Saelen inquired.

"Fine, I guess," Xander said.

"Good. You need to start some lessons," Pairdra replied, his voice serious.

Xander scowled. "Um, I know how to walk, talk, read and write."

Saelen snorted. "You know what we’re talking about, Xander. We’ve discussed this."

And indeed they had, when they could keep Xander awake long enough. He needed to learn how to move in the trees, climbing, swinging, and crawling, as well as walking and running. Siv had better reflexes than humans, but it didn’t help if he didn’t know how to use those new abilities. Beyond that, Xander really needed to learn to speak, read and write siv. Only about half the siv in Ieccra spoke the human tongue, since other than a few settlements on the border, there weren’t many human villages in the region. While the human language was used as a trade tongue, and many people of all species spoke it, it wasn’t universal, at least not in Ieccra. Had Xander been farther north, it wouldn’t have been a problem. Some other species used that language more than the siv did.

Xander had no choice but to let Saelen and Pairdra carry him back to their home, still unhappy over both his physical appearance and what had been planned for him in the upcoming months. He’d had no say whatsoever in it--the ‘elders’ had decided that he needed to be raised up, like some sort of child, and that was that. He’d said, quite angrily, that he was no child. The response Main’zen had given him wasn’t what he expected.

Finding out that siv lived a very, very long time, and that his 21 years were nothing to the siv, was an unpleasant surprise. He wasn’t sure he liked being considered even younger and less mature than ever, nor was he entirely happy with the prospect of living for centuries. They’d evaded the topic of an actual lifespan, instead saying that it wasn’t an issue. He took that to mean immortality. Xander equated that with demons like vampires. Real, living things didn’t live forever. They got old and died.

The elders hadn’t been swayed by his appeals. Nope, he had to learn what they told him to learn, taught by Saelen and Pairdra. When he’d offered to move to a human village, Pairdra told him point-blank that most humans wouldn’t accept him, at least not as a changed-siv trying to be human. To the humans in this world, he was siv now.

When they got back home, they dumped him on his bed. "Look, Xander, we’re sorry this happened. But you don’t have many choices," Saelen said. "If it is us you have a problem with, the elders can find someone else, but you need to learn these things."

Pairdra handed Xander a bowl of unpeeled, raw fruit. Apparently the days of baby food were over. "We’ve got things to do. We’ll be back later. Have your problems solved by then." Saelen scowled at Pairdra’s harsh words, but didn’t disagree. He didn’t have time for Xander’s tantrums either.

Xander did, in fact, think about things some more while they were gone. He knew that he’d have to learn all that stuff, since he had no other options. Nowhere to go, no one to help him, and no way to get home. Siv didn’t have witches like Willow around, not that he could find at least, so he guessed there was no way to find out what Anya had done. He’d already decided that he wasn’t ever forgiving her for this one. They were through.

The fruit he was eating wasn’t so bad, really. The skin wasn’t so thick he couldn’t eat it along with the flesh, which was kind of tart. He’d have to ask Saelen what it was called. The red-furred siv was by far the more diplomatic and friendly of the pair, although Pairdra wasn’t really unkind. He just was less...personable. If that was a word he could use to describe siv. He’d have to ask that, too.

•••

When Saelen and Pairdra returned from the market, laden with fruit, they found Xander investigating their weapons stores. "Find anything familiar?" Saelen asked.

Xander jumped slightly at their entrance. "Yeah, I guess so," he answered, hefting a short staff and a couple of daggers. "But what are these for?" He asked, pointed to a mass of cords.

Pairdra picked up the stuff, grimacing. At one point, the hyoel had been carefully wrapped up. Now, though, it was horribly knotted. "It’s the chosen weapon of most siv," he said, unraveling the thing. Once unfolded, it reminded Xander of some sort of S&M toy, or maybe a bola. That thing would definitely take lessons to learn to use.

"Did you decide?" Saelen asked, coming straight to the point.

Xander nodded slowly. "I need to learn the stuff, I know. It’s just..."

"Don’t worry, Xander. It only took Pairdra six months to learn to walk," Saelen said reassuringly.

"Six months?" Xander echoed. It would probably take him ten years then.

Pairdra shot Saelen a dirty look. "Just ask him," he growled, pointing at Saelen, "How long he spent trying to figure out how to throw a hyoel."

Saelen rolled his eyes, but didn’t respond to the jibe. "We’ll work on the simple, physical stuff first, along with some easy language lessons. The more complicated things, you’ll get from a teacher."

"Ok, I guess. Where to we start?" Xander asked nervously.

"Come on," Pairdra said, gesturing toward the door.

•••

"Damn it!" Xander said as he fell, again. He just couldn’t get the hang of this walking on branches thing. The only places he’d moved around on his own in Ieccra had had pretty much solid floors, with coverings that made walking easy. Most of the freehold, though, was made up of permanently intertwined branches. They were thick enough that he didn’t fall through, but they were uneven and rounded, with lots of places to catch his now-bare feet.

Actually, he did ok if he just sort of crawled or crept. But if he tried to walk at any normal pace, or actually run, he fell flat on his face, or on his back, or on his side. He was a mass of bruises. Luckily he recovered quickly from them.

"Rely on your balance, Xander. You’re trying to use groundwalking rules for treewalking. What you’re walking on isn’t flat. You’re not really stepping, or shuffling," Saelen said a bit shortly. Xander had been trying to learn this for two weeks now, and hadn’t gotten anywhere.

Pairdra, normally quiet during lessons, took the lead. "Don’t think of it as walking, because it’s not."

"What?" Xander asked, confused. He thought he was learning to walk.

"What you’re really doing is climbing. You’re used to climbing up hills or things, and sort of dragging your feet on a level surface when you walk. This is more like climbing--you feel for a place to clasp your foot," Pairdra said, sticking his foot out.

"You’re still trying to walk flat-footed, instead of using your foot to grasp," he explained.

"Uh huh, right," Xander said doubtfully. Still, he tried bending his toes around the next branch he stepped onto. Unfortunately he didn’t position his upper body correctly and his center of balance was off. Another failed attempt, another bruise.

"Swift, Pairdra," he said angrily.

"Pairdra’s got the right idea, you know, just the wrong place," Saelen said thoughtfully. Maybe Xander needed to learn this stuff where it really mattered--outside the safety of the freehold. There the branches were further apart, and he would really be climbing around. As long as they didn’t actually let him fall...

"Come on," he said to Pairdra, motioning to Xander. The two picked him up, ignoring his protestations. Pairdra followed Saelen’s lead out of the freehold, clambering easily out to a nearby grove of trees that were sometimes used for warriors’ training. They were currently empty, however, and would make a perfect spot for whatever Saelen was planning.

"Pai, you make sure he doesn’t fall. Xander, you walk from this branch," Saelen pointed to the one they’d sat him on, "to that one over there," he said, indicating one that passed near the other.

"How?" Xander asked, eyes wide. He was precariously perched on a branch maybe as big around as his thigh, and the other one wasn’t much larger than his arm. There weren’t any others close enough to hold onto from above. This would be impossible.

Saelen shrugged. "I really don’t care. We’ve told you everything we know, so it’s up to you now. We aren’t going home until you do it, though."

To prove his point, Saelen sat down several branches away, close enough to come to Xander’s aid but far enough away that he couldn’t be reached. Pairdra took up position on a branch immediately below Xander, to catch him if he slipped.

Xander swore softly and tried to stand up. He was sure they wouldn’t let him die, although falling was still an unpleasant prospect. Once he was vertical, Xander took a tentative step forward, his arms straight out at his side for balance. He immediately fell down, catching himself on the branch. "I can’t do this, guys."

Saelen grimaced. Xander had absolutely no self-confidence--something that was making this even harder. The young man didn’t even notice how easily he stood up, or how he caught himself. A week ago he wouldn’t have been able to do either. And all that was without the benefit of a tail, since Xander’s wasn’t but a few inches long. It would be months before it was fully grown. "You’re too stiff. Don’t try to be so straight."

Xander snorted at the possible ways he could take that statement. Straight, indeed. "Fine, I’ll be loose." He got up again and sort of lurched forward, slipping on the branch.

Pairdra moved to catch him, but Xander recovered, just righting himself before he fell. The move was overdone, however, sending him in the other direction. This time he stuck one foot out, catching the next branch. When he finally stopped swaying, he found himself with one foot on either of two branches about three feet apart. "Help!" he whined.

Saelen and Pairdra shared a glance. "Nope, you did it, you get out of it," Saelen said. Feigning boredom, Saelen clambered up into the tree he was in and plucked several pieces of fruit, tossing some down to Pairdra.

"Hey, gimme some!" Xander called up. Saelen complied, raining fruit down on Xander’s head. The effects were immediate; Xander waved his hands first to catch the fruit, then to fend it off. The motion changed his center of gravity and he swayed forward. Trying to keep upright, Xander swiveled to his right, getting both feet on one branch. He kept going, though, stepping back and then to one side. Still flopping around, he jumped from branch to branch, stumbling drunkenly.

Pairdra raced through the branches below Xander, trying to keep up with him. The young man was everywhere, not really moving with any purpose other than to stay upright.

Xander knew he was going to die. He was out of control, hopping here and there, his body tipping this way and that. If only he could balance, get control of himself and stop flinging his body around. It wouldn’t matter, though, because he’d be dead before he figured out how to do that. His mind raced, trying to find some solution to this. Maybe if he ran headlong into a tree...

Saelen watched calmly as Xander’s body began to learn how to control itself. His mind might not know what was going on, but the rest of him did. While Xander’s thoughts were on death, his body was focused on life--specifically saving his. Slowly but surely, the youth’s steps became surer, and his body began to synch up with those steps. Xander didn’t even realize he wasn’t flailing his arms around anymore, other than to grab a branch to change his trajectory.

Pairdra, too, had noticed the change and had stopped tracking him so closely. Xander would run out of energy before too long; he’d not built up any stamina yet, so he gave Xander about five more minutes before he tired out.

Taking pity on him, Saelen waited until Xander was fairly close and dropped down right in front of him. Xander instinctively stopped just before running into his teacher. "Aack!"

Saelen grinned. "Good job, Xander! You did it!"

"Did what? You bastard! You threw that stuff at me! You nearly killed me!" Xander screamed. Saelen backed up, still grinning, as Xander advanced on him. The former human didn’t even notice he was walking without difficulty. Saelen led him all over, ignoring the insults hurled his way.

"So, do you enjoy walking, Xander?" Pairdra asked, joining them.

Xander’s attention was caught by the question, so he quieted momentarily. "I can’t walk." Pairdra pointed down. Xander looked, and then gaped. "Oh, shit."

Saelen and Pairdra grinned at each other, both wishing they’d thought of this a long time ago. It may well have always been the technique used to teach adult human-changelings, but there hadn’t been one in Ieccra in a long time.

"Can we go home now?" Pairdra asked impatiently.

"Ok," Xander said dumbly, still staring at his feet. Saelen led them away, with Pairdra trailing behind Xander, just in case. Xander’s first few steps were shaky, but he seemed to remember how to do what he’d just learned, and soon they were on their way. He was still a lot slower than his friends, but at least he didn’t have to be carried anymore. That was just too humiliating.

•••

Saelen and Pairdra left him alone at home that evening, since they did have obligations to the hold they had to fulfill besides taking care of him. He spent the time as he usually did, thinking about home. Not here, in the trees, but Sunnydale.

He missed it more than he ever thought he would, or could. Other than the aborted cross-country Steinbeck adventure he’d tried, he’d never spent time away from there. Willow had always been a part of his life. But not now--she was in Sunnydale and he was growing fur.

Xander wondered if she missed him. Had Anya gone to them, gloating about what she’d done? Did she spin some lie so they wouldn’t go after her, making them think he’d run away? He hated to be the cause of Willow-worry, and she worried a lot.

Then there was Buffy. He already missed being the low-end member of the Scoobies. Even when she was insulting him, he felt at least a little bit loved. Insults took attention, and attention was attention no matter how he got it. He did worry about Dawn, though. He had proven to be a good caretaker, and wondered who would be there for her. Spike had disappeared months before, seeming to vanish in thin air. That left Buffy, who had the Slayer gig to deal with, Willow, who was getting over her addiction, and Tara, who still felt like an outsider, despite all they’d done to make her feel welcome. Maybe Giles would come back and save them. The thought evoked images of the watcher in a spandex suit with a cape, making Xander grin.

He missed them so much. He even missed construction work. This place was foreign, with its primitive living and monkey people. Not to mention, of course, the man-eating things he’d run into. They still gave him nightmares, and he knew his screams woke up Saelen and Pairdra, even though they said nothing about it.

Xander felt guilty about not being more grateful to the two of them. They’d been nothing but helpful and supportive, taking care of him when he couldn’t do so himself, even if the elders had instructed them to do so. After all, they didn’t even have to bring him back. They could have left him to become someone else’s dinner. But he couldn’t help but be resentful. It was their blood that had caused it; their existence that had ruined his.

It all came back to what he was becoming. Xander wanted desperately to wake up one morning with normal, human hands and feet, with normal, human hair and just a simple case of stubble he could shave off. The idea of growing a tail terrified him and he wanted to cut off what was already present, as if that could make it all go away.

No one seemed to really understand what he was going through. Main’zen, the healer who had also turned out to be an elder, had offered to track down another changed-siv, someone who could talk to him about it. Xander had turned her down, however. From what he could gather, humans who lived in this world understood more about the whole changing thing, and must be more accepting of it. Everyone was certainly surprised at his resistance to the event. Maybe here humans were just another species, but they ruled his world.

Xander snacked on some more fruit while he ruminated, idly noting that he had gotten used to a diet consisting almost solely of different fruits and a little water now and then. Still, he missed hamburgers and big, juicy steaks. Right now, he’d kill for a trip to the Doublemeat Palace, if only to see Buffy in that outfit. Well, that and a burger.

When Saelen and Pairdra returned from their meeting with the warriors, they found Xander curled up on a bench, clutching at a large vrindgeu fruit like a child would their favorite toy. Saelen carefully prized the food from his hands before allowing Pairdra to put Xander to bed. He was making progress, but they worried about him still.

The news they’d gotten at the meeting hadn’t helped any. The violence on their borders was escalating, to the point that the freehold was seriously considering sending in a large number of warriors to deal with it. The elders had had little luck in convincing the humans in the area to relocate to either a human region or a region without so many human-aggressing species close by, such as the dalhari regions to the north. The humans in Ieccra, though, enjoyed the perennially warm weather that came with living near the equator, and were very reluctant to move.

While the siv could appreciate the sentiment, being fond of their home themselves, they also understood the need to leave. This was not a human region, nor was it a good one for humans to settle into for any length of time. At one point, t’kth-vaali had inhabited the forest floor, sharing the space with the siv in relative peace. That had ended long ago, of course, but that situation was entirely different. The siv and t’kth-vaali were, in their own way, complimentary species, despite the t’kth-vaali’s use of siv in the occasional ritual.

Humans, though, didn’t fit into the ecosystem here. They had to work harder than either the t’kth-vaali or the siv to survive, since the heavy canopy kept most good crops from growing. The siv fed on the fruits of the trees they inhabited, and the t’kth-vaali fished the seas, hunted, and raised livestock on huge pastures that had existed for millennia. The predatory species had kept control of those lands for as long as anyone could remember, and were not about to relinquish them to humans.

Yes, Saelen thought as he led Pairdra to bed, Xander’s better off as a siv. At least he has a chance of surviving the upcoming years.